AFTER X’IAN, BEIJING: we travelled there at 300 km/h, our speed digitally displayed at the end of the carriage. There was boiling water on tap, there were wide seats, there was more than adequate leg room and the train ran on time. In other words, it was everything that train travel in the UK is not.
THE LAMA TEMPLE
Welcome to the Disneyfication of religion. Don’t worry if you’re not Buddhist, it really doesn’t matter. Please collect your complimentary bundle of incense sticks and proceed directly to the brazier, where you may light them. Screams of excitement are encouraged. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous (and you probably are) please do feel free to light the entire bundle at once (don’t worry about the sign telling you not to do that). Next, proceed to wander around the temple clutching your incense stick like you don’t quite know what to do with it. When you’re bored with it, just drop it on the ground. Thank you.
THE HUTONGS
Welcome to the hutongs, a series of old narrow lanes that you’ll probably get lost in. People have died trying to get out. Do come in, though.
Residents are mostly friendly.
Mostly.
Don’t touch my beer.
All hail.
The discarded bikes of those who didn’t find their way out of the hutongs.
Don’t worry that you’re lost, having a beer will help you find your way out.
THE WALL
Welcome to the Wall. Yes, it looks like it was rebuilt recently, and there’s a reason for that. Try not to be too underwhelmed. Distract yourself by buying overpriced gloves to stop your hands falling off in the cold.
OK, so it is quite impressive in places.
But if you’re still bored, don’t worry – because there’s a toboggan run all the way down to the bottom of the hill which is a lot more fun than the wall itself.
REMEMBER THIS?
So 2008…
SHANGHAI
Welcome to Shanghai! You can get married here.
It’s very popular.
We’ve got the whole post thing covered as well.
And laundry too. I’m pretty sure it’s fine to be a Christian in China as well.
We don’t talk about the hairy building. Look away.
This is the view that you’re paying £6 a beer for. Better enjoy it.
NEXT TIME: The food of Penang.
This post was written and uploaded in Kuala, Lumpur, Malaysia.
Elsewhere, Underwritten 
Loving the pictures! Great job!
Enjoy KL and let me know if you’re in need of a travel guide there.
And, welcome to my hometown 🙂
Hey anonymously blogging justmarsella, glad that you liked the pictures – thanks for taking the time to read. I’ve very much enjoyed KL – today I was at the Cool Lumpur literature festival at Publika. There’s some really good stuff on there. Thanks for the offer to guide, but sadly tomorrow I move on to Melaka. I’ve been in KL for 10 days now and it’s time for someplace new! Good city though.
Keep on writing.
David
Yea I heard about the festival, glad you guys enjoyed it 🙂 Enjoy Melaka then, don’t forget to taste the amazing fresh seafood there!
Cheers!
Enjoying my vicarious travelling alongside you. Some of the pics are jawdropping which added to your writing make your blog something that I look forward to. In fact, I would go so far as to say – don’t come back David – keep travelling as you make a wonderful, descriptive, superbly cynical (at appropriate times), tongue in cheek, an eminently readable travel blogger. Keep well – both of you
Thanks Maggie, that’s the nicest way anyone’s ever told me “don’t come back here!”
Glad that you enjoy the blog – it’s always good to get feedback, and especially good when it’s so glowing.
Keeping on travelling and blogging sounds like a lot of fun; unfortunately, at the moment, it’s an entirely self funded enterprise. Maybe one day I’ll work out how to make some money from writing!